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“What happens when you don’t teach a whole group of people to understand their emotions is that they become extremely emotionally dysregulated . . . it then tends to be a woman who is tasked with modulating that partner’s expression, especially when there are kids involved and you’re trying to be a buffer between that temper—that mood—and your children.”
Rose Hackman
This is episode 94 and today I’m here with Rose Hackman talking about Emotional Labor.
Guest
Rose Hackman is a British journalist in Detroit, and the author of Emotional Labor, the invisible work shaping our lives and how to claim our power.
Highlights
Define: What is emotional labor?
Development: In the context that I am often living and working, emotional labor is often attributed to being an inherent sex-based trait. My experience is that it is a skillet that I was forced to learn to survive and if I wasn’t performing it, others would be forced to grow into it. What does the research tell us?
Problem: Emotional labor itself is not the problem, and in fact, we need more emotional labor in the world. The problem is that there should be an equal distribution of emotional labor, it should be acknowledged and valued, as opposed to extracted from minority groups. What is the problem that needs to be addressed here?
Men: Men benefit from this system but they are also harmed by it. Why should they make changes and what kind of changes can they make?
Family: If we want to make our relationship more egalitarian, what can we do to begin that shift, particularly in the face of resistance from a partner?
Society: If you could inspire change on a societal scale, what would that change be? What would it look like and how could we get there?
Help with Emotional Labor
This incredible episode was spurred from a lot of remarkable work happening inside the Sage Family Village where we are learning to recognize our emotional labor in action, value it, and identify the edges of our ownership over it, stepping into empowered choice around what space we are willing to occupy and what space we are not. If anything about this episode resonates with you, join us over at sagefamily.com/village.
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