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The Mother’s Day Formula


MothersDayThis is a special post just for all the daddies out there who are staring down the barrel of the Mother’s Day gun. Will this Mother’s Day be one that will live on in infamy or will you be riding high on a wave of glory for months to come?

I’ve broken it down for you – formula style: seven steps to honor the woman who has given you so much. You got this!

  1. Let her Sleep

Let her sleep – that deep, peaceful, restorative sleep that has eluded her since the day she became a mother. You will be the one sleeping with one eye open. Bring her a changed and hungry breastfeeding baby and/or check in on the kids. You are taking on the nighttime parenting responsibility, which is a heavy burden to tirelessly bear. On Mother’s Day, she gets the night off to reacquaint herself with that old beloved friend sleep.

Note: While you are handling all of the nighttime caretaking, the words coming out of your mouth will be nothing but recognition and appreciation. This is not the time to log discontent with your nighttime arrangements or your children’s needs.

Let her sleep in. The sun rises, the children follow, and you are in gear. Mommy gets to stay cuddled and lazy in her bed for as long as she wants, without complaint.

  1. Cook the Meals

Handle all of the cooking that takes place on Mother’s Day. This may require grocery shopping in advance so don’t drop the ball there and be prepared with everything you need to cook what you need to feed the family. Mama will not be entering the kitchen today.

  1. Plan an Experience

Planning is one of those invisible responsibilities that is hefty and often taken for granted. Whatever her preferred Mother’s Day experience (ask her what that is), you are going to do all of the planning for it. Look up the information you need, pack the supplies, and arrange the schedule. She doesn’t have to juggle those balls today and that is a huge weight off her shoulders.

  1. Do the Work

Is your toddler running away? Does your kid need to pee in the middle of dinner at the restaurant? Does your baby want to stand and sway? “Sit back Honey, I’m on it.” You will take over all of those little things throughout the day that detract from her energy reserves.

  1. Clean the House

Changing over the laundry, doing the dishes, washing the children, picking up the clutter … the seemingly endless cleaning that takes place in the daily life of a mother is something she will not have to tend today. Anything that needs done, just do it (bonus points if you do it without asking or seeking credit).

  1. Make a Gift

Nothing is more meaningful than a heartfelt gift that is made by the people she loves. Write your own card, create art with the kids, or make her favorite dessert. This is pro level shit right here. She will swoon.

In the immortal words of Nick Offerman, “…if you’re in a relationship, make your significant other a fucking card, please. … Go to your printer. There’s paper in there. Find the paper. Take a sheet of it. Fold it in half. Draw a heart on it. Open it up. Write ‘I love you.’ Sign your name. You will get so kissed. You will be kissed so much more voluptuously than from any bullshit you can buy at the mall. Here’s a bonus. Go outside and find a tiny piece of nature … adhere it in the center of the heart. And then get stretched out because you’re going for a ride in the realm of coitus.”

  1. Buy a Gift

You can tailor the expense to your budget because the most important aspect of a purchased gift is not cost but thoughtfulness. A gift that is bought needs to convey how well you know your wife – that is the real gift. If you don’t know for sure what she wants, then ask her. Bigger (in size or price) isn’t better. She wants to feel like you have been listening to her. Did she show you something she liked months ago? Has she mentioned wanting something?

I woke up this morning well rested to my husband massaging my feet while my boys gave me thoughtful gifts. The boys went out to set a fancy table in the backyard for the breakfast they made me but before we went out to join them, you know what my husband got? Laid. Just sayin’. And on that note, go do Mother’s Day like a boss!

Read more in Sage Parenting: where nature meets nurture

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I work from an island in the Pacific Northwest, where I live wild and free in connection with my hilarious husband and three growing sailors in our fixer upper on the beach. I authentically live this healing work out loud raising my own neurodivergent family (inner child included) and draw on my decades of education and experience (I've done all the nerdy work so you don't have to) to guide a revolution of overwhelmed parents just like you to feeling at peace within yourself, consciously connected with your children, embraced by a supportive community, and enjoying a values-aligned life you love.

Gentle parenting, natural homeschooling, & simple living mentor

I'm Rachel Rainbolt

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