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Aggression with Tosha Shore


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“Limits are the thing parents struggle with the most and it’s one of the most important pieces of the puzzle. Until you feel confident and competent in your limit setting skills, it’s going to be really hard to help your child through aggressive behaviors.”

Tosha Schore

This is episode 90 and today I’m here with Tosha Schore talking about Aggression.


Tosha Schore is a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. She is also co-author of “Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges,” which has been translated into five languages. Tosha works with parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly, and has been featured on Dr. Shefali’s Parenting Mastery Summit, GoZen’s Anger Transformation and ListenUp! Summits, and has spoken to audiences at the Institute for Child Psychology, the Diversity in Parenting Conference, the Davidson Institute, Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, and on a boatload of podcasts!


Boys: Tosha discusses why she centers boys in her work on aggression.

Play: We cover aggressive play in children.

Brains: We speak to what is happening within a child when they become aggressive.

Fear: We share how our fear gets in our way.

Connection: We address how connection helps and how we can enhance it.

Communication: We explain how we’re probably talking too much.

Playfulness: We walk through how we can use playfulness to disarm tension.

Limits: We go over when loving limits are necessary and what they might look like.

Help with Aggression

If your family struggles with aggression, I want you to know that you are not alone. In the gentle parenting culture, I don’t hear aggression talked about enough, as though it’s a shameful secret that families have to struggle with alone in the dark. In the Sage Family Village, we really shine a shame-free light on aggression to support and empower parents in showing up with the boundaries that keep everyone safe from harm with a calm confidence that is effective and enhances connection. 

I mention in the episode that during Sage Coaching I ask families to send me a video of a hard moment so that we can walk through the experience together and create a plan for how to respond moving forward. Having a plan for nurturing the needs more effectively makes all the difference! It is worth investing in this now—we don’t need to suffer.

Dive Deeper

Disclosure: When I recommend a product that I believe will add value for you, it may contain an affiliate link, and when you click the link to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Sage Family Podcast 85: Polyvagal Theory

Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges

Tosha’s website


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I work from an island in the Pacific Northwest, where I live wild and free in connection with my hilarious husband and three growing sailors in our fixer upper on the beach. I authentically live this healing work out loud raising my own neurodivergent family (inner child included) and draw on my decades of education and experience (I've done all the nerdy work so you don't have to) to guide a revolution of overwhelmed parents just like you to feeling at peace within yourself, consciously connected with your children, embraced by a supportive community, and enjoying a values-aligned life you love.

Gentle parenting, natural homeschooling, & simple living mentor

I'm Rachel Rainbolt

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