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Untigering with Iris Chen


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This is episode 56 and today I’m here with Iris Chen talking about untigering.

Iris Chen is an author, unschooling mom, deconstructing tiger parent, and founder of the Untigering movement. As an advocate for peaceful parenting and educational freedom for children, her mission is to inspire generational and cultural transformation, especially among Asian communities. She spent 16 years living overseas in China (land of the tiger parent!), but now resides in her native California with her husband and two sons. You can read more about her adventures in parenting and unschooling at

Adventure of the Week

I share our adventure playing in new nature each week with our friends. 

Our Little Obsession

I share our excitement and experience installing new front doors in our fixer upper.


Title: Iris talks about the title of her book and the dominant style of parenting in her culture.

Narrative: She describes how her narrative being built on wounds and achievements affected her early parenting.

Nature: She goes over what she believes about the nature of children now that she may have misunderstood before.

Role: We discuss what we see our role as as parents.

Behavior: She shares how things changed for her once she realized that behaviors are attempts to get needs met.

Feelings: She walks us through how she became so disconnected from her own feelings and how she is supported her children in maintaining a connection with theirs.

Success: She explains how success was defined for her growing up and how she has redefined it.

Adultism: She speaks to adultism—what it is and how we can disrupt it.

Acceptance: We share what it looks like to truly accept your child’s nature.

Gender Norms: She speaks to gender norms and why it’s important to reject them.

Bodily Autonomy: She gives recommendations for where to start if you haven’t been respecting your child’s body autonomy.

Permissiveness: We walk through the dangers of permissive parenting and how gentle/peaceful parenting is different.

Community: She offers advice for people longing for community but unsure where to begin.

Dive Deeper

Disclosure: When I recommend a product that I believe will add value for you, it may contain an affiliate link, and when you click the link to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Untigering Book

Iris’s Blog

Iris on Facebook

Iris’s Facebook Group

Iris on Instagram

Iris’s Coaching

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I work from an island in the Pacific Northwest, where I live wild and free in connection with my hilarious husband and three growing sailors in our fixer upper on the beach. I authentically live this healing work out loud raising my own neurodivergent family (inner child included) and draw on my decades of education and experience (I've done all the nerdy work so you don't have to) to guide a revolution of overwhelmed parents just like you to feeling at peace within yourself, consciously connected with your children, embraced by a supportive community, and enjoying a values-aligned life you love.

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